This paper presents unpublished data from an international comparative research project. A ten‐country study analysed change and diversity informs of private life during the 1980s in comparable age groups of women (women of young parental age and women at the start of the postparental phase). Changes in forms of private life and their international diversity make up the sociological background for demographic change. The scientific and political assumptions view demographic diversity in Europe as an expression of the simultaneity of the non‐simultaneous, of a unidimensional trend in changes informs of private life as a result of the dissolution of the traditional family and the subsequent increase in such forms. We show that although Europeans have to deal with similar trends, they are framed by various national and cultural traditions and different social policy guiding principles and actions. Social policy profiles define various “normality weightings” for (prospective) parents’options. Of particular significance is how States differ in reconciling the demands of family and work. Differences in compatibility between family and professional life are exemplified by what Kaufmann (1990) calls the “structural lack of consideration” that politics and society have f