In recent years considerable progress has been made in the provision of short stay care facilities. As policies of community care begin to make themselves felt an increasing number of families are using such short stay arrangements to provide relief from the taxing business of looking after their mentally handicapped relatives. The effect of this has been to put nursing and care staff into more frequent touch with the families concerned. I want to argue that such contact can be used in positive and creative ways if staff relate to families with sensitivity and understanding. Whilst this might seem to be an obvious point to make, I will try to show that such a response may not be as easy to give as it sounds. I will also suggest some principles of sound practice for workers who are involved with families at the point at which they take over the care of their handicapped relatives.