In many situations it is clearly important to value difference and foster mutual acceptance. Yet in other circumstances it is very likely that the policy of ‘valuing difference’ can translate into a rationalisation for ethical and political indifference: “Who am I to judge? Everything is equally valid”. At a second level of analysis, it is also important to recognise that there are elemental and often positive dynamics enacted through difference. In formulating a sense of identity, for example, perceptions of dissimilarity between people are often as fundamental as are positive definitions of self. In relation to identity and identity generation, differences engender differentiation between children and their families, between ‘our group’ and ‘your group’ and between family therapy and other practice methodologies. In examining the themes of indifference and differentiation I hope to re‐work a number of assumptions about “sameness” and “differ