Abstract“Ah, Mr. Cahill, I wonder if you could come back to the auditor's team room. It seems one of your auditors has fallen asleep for the second time this week. I know you had a grueling trip getting here, but this is embarrassing to everyone”.So went an audit I led some time ago. It was not a fun experience, and it has left some scars.There has been much discussion lately in the profession about certifying environmental (health and safety) auditors against certain performance criteria. But how does one evaluate for such important measures as physical stamina?.This article discusses the qualifications that environmental auditors should have if they are to lead or conduct a quality audit. It becomes evident after reviewing these expectations that certifying auditors through a traditional written examination might ignore some of the most important skills an auditor should possess, especially in working with managers throughout an organization. Before certifying organizations progress too far down the restrictive written‐exam road, they should determine how these other skills are to be assessed. No amount of book learning can overcome the drawbacks of a poor or combative interviewer or even an exhausted au