Four‐year‐old children (22 girls and 18 boys) participated in a study investigating concurrent relations between attachment, gender and behaviour in preschool. Security of attachment was assessed in the laboratory. Focal child observations were carried out during indoor free‐play in preschool. Individual differences in behaviour with adults were related to security of attachment. Insecure children sought more help than secure children, but adults were less responsive to their dependent requests. Further, there was a significant interaction between attachment and gender on several measures. Secure girls and secure boys did not differ significantly in the behaviour they showed. Insecurely attached girls received the most help. Insecure boys received little guidance, instruction or help. They elicited the most discipline and were least compliant to adults' controls. These boys showed more negative behaviour and received fewer positive responses from adults than did other chi