Empirical data on the subjectively reported anxiety reactions of 117 parents who lost an infant at birth or daring the first year of life are presented. From a retrospective survey conducted 1 to 4 years after the death it was evident that parents experienced a great deal of anxiety following the death of their child. Parents who experienced a sudden death in the home reported the strongest anxiety, but other parents who lost their child in hospital at birth or thereafter also experienced strong anxiety. The anxiety for surviving children and later‐born children was extensive. In all areas mothers experienced more anxiety than fathers. More intense and longer grief in one's partner, the perceived lack of support from others, being older, and being a female were significantly correlated with anxiety. The results are interpreted as a confirmation that parents who lose their children experience a fundamental change in their beliefs about their family's future security. Better training of health personnel is required to secure an adequate follow up of families that lose a chil