Conciliation is a major function of Family Court Lawyers and Counsellors. A systems model is presented to guide thinking about and the practice of conciliation of disputes in a legal setting. Sub‐systems include the interview, the parents, the conciliator, conciliation, negotiation and legal processes. Nine goals for the process are listed, and selected theory and findings from the literature of counselling and psychotherapy, marriage and family counselling, industrial relations, organisation development, conflict resolution and areas of general psychology are discussed in relation to the model. The parents' cognitive schemas, the need for skills training and other learning experiences for the parents, and the role of the conciliator as a “third party” in a bargaining situation, are particular emp