The differences between mothers' and fathers' grief following the death of an infant child were investigated. From a total sample of 117 parents, 53% women and 47% men, answering a survey on different grief reactions 1 to 4 years following the death. 55 families where both partners responded, were selected. Measures relating to anxiety, depression, impact of event, bodily discomfort, and general well being were included. The results demonstrated fairly strong differences between the partners' reactions, with mothers typically experiencing more intense and long‐lasting reactions than fathers. Mothers also tended to perceive their family and friends as less supportive than fathers, while fathers were least satisfied with the support received from the hospital. Most parents felt the death had brought them closer together, although a considerable number reported feeling more distance to their partner. Mothers scored significantly higher than the fathers on experience of recovery, state anxiety (STAI), depression (Beck Depression Inventory), bodily symptoms (Bodily Symptom Scale) and intrusive images and thoughts (Impact of Event Scale, IES Intrusion). A high score in one spouse was correlated with a high score in the other, and vice versa. It is emphasized that the results showing parental differences in grief should help us tailor psychoeducational and therapeutical intervention for bereaved familie