All family therapists, and especially Milan‐style systemic therapists, have been trained to take a neutral stance regarding family issues, based on a circular causality model of family interaction. Therefore, when therapists deal with family violence, their ability to perceive individual responsibility for unethical behavior is weakened or suppressed. In fact, this ability is the primary tool in developing effective treatment planning in cases of family violence: The actively physically abusive man needs to be in individual and/or group therapy, not conjoint or family therapy. The ethical judgment of the therapist is what determines the limits of family therap