This study was based on a standard task — the discussion of the question, “How, out of all the millions of people in the world, did the two of you get together?”— administered to the parents in “disturbed” and “non‐disturbed” families. The family disturbance in the 46 families was classified according to its presence or absence, its degree, and its kind. The diagnoses were: schizophrenias (S), delinquency (D), under‐achievement and/or enuresis, or psychosomatic complaints (U), ulcerative colitis (UC), and non‐disturbed (N). Seven scales were used to score the parents' verbal exchanges. Three scales that measure transactional and contextual validation and invalidation significantly differentiated the groups. Mutual validation was maximal in the N couples and minimal in the D and S couples. Invalidation between the D and S couples appeared to arise from their unsuccessf