Lesbian feminist communities present dilemmas for feminists who are involved in these communities yet do not define themselves as lesbians. In this exploratory study of nine non‐lesbian feminists who were involved with a lesbian feminist community in the mid‐1980s, important questions emerge about how to define oneself sexually and how to negotiate sexual identity. The politics of sexual identity is a core issue for these women, as lesbianism and feminism are entwined in a rhetoric which privileges lesbianism. On the other hand, the heterosexual world competes for their attention and offers a much less threatening lifestyle and political position. For the most part, these women resist defining themselves solely on the basis of sexual behavior and negotiate their identity depending on the audience or community. Sexual identity for these women is closely tied to overall self‐concept and to the politics of lesbian feminist communities in the mid‐1980s.